Everywhere i go, everyone is wishing everyone Happy Holidays I am saying the words but my holiday spirit is not there and I know it is because you are missing.

It has been so hard going shopping for presents and not buying the Ho Ho Ho gifts for you or picking out  the big gift every year, hoping that we made the right choice and got it right.  So when you open the presents up your face lights up.  At whatever age you were you always went back to being just a little girl.   Sitting with Nick on the fireplace playing prod the present. You watching Brad give out the presents, but before opening your present making sure that there are still more for you to come.

I wrapped the gifts yesterday with a heavy heavy heart not with my normal excitement of counting down the days till all of us sit around and unwrap the presents. Watching all your faces with hopefully happiness that the right choices were made.

Kate I miss you so much right now that it hurts. I know your spirit will be with all the family over the holidays, I am sure you will be spending time watching at mum’s house and then ours.

Sometime on Christmas day I will take my moment with you, I don’t know exactly when but there will be that moment. When we are all sitting around the dining table it will be so hard, but i will try not to cry instead i am going to smile and try and cherish all the memories that i have of so many Christmas’s with you.

Happy Holidays Kate, I love and miss you every day.

Sarah